How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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