haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
