Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
