brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
