hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm at about main and main street
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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