haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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