had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
