i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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