Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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