the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
