Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Drunk is not a location!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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