if i can run in heels then i can drive
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
