Your mouth is God's brothel.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
