So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
These tits shall not be calmed
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