If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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