just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
