If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My breasts were aching with rage.
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