I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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