I'm jealous of your bromance
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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