her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
