planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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