So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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