Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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