dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
