when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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