i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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