just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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