She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I deserve this hangover.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
