You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
