If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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