I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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