I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
