so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
