My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
