Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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