Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
