You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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