Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize