What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
