Need sex. Gaining weight.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
