You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
