Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
