I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
