when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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