Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
