Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
