He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
