One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
