I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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