Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
