This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
