Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
