Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
