i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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