see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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