Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
