Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
