someone threw a dead crab at me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
