"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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