well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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